


something something overused vampire joke

by raynon



Category: My Chemical Romance, Repugnant (Band)
Genre: Gen, anyway mary's a real vampire. frank's a fake one., i'm not tagging any ships because there aren't any technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynon/pseuds/raynon
Summary: Frank meets a vampire at a Halloween party.This is a completely self indulgent fic, read at your own discretion I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kudos: 3





	something something overused vampire joke

Frank fiddled with the bow at the top of his laces, making sure his boots were tight enough. He was pretty proud of the new platforms, they bumped him up to 5’8 and he felt like he could take on the world. Well, that, and it was his birthday.

Mikey snorted at him from the driver’s seat as he parked the car. “You ready to break in your new height, Frankula?”

Frank lifted up his leg to nudge Mikey’s thigh playfully. “I’m ready to just get loose tonight. I’ve been waiting for this party all week.” He got out of the car and stood up, brushing his black hooded cape back to press his hands to his hips. “Nice of you to make an effort, by the way."

Mikey only wore a skeleton-print shirt and Frank’s fingerless bone gloves. “Oh, like a cape and fangs are goin’ all out, huh?”

“And the boots!” Frank pointed to them.

“Jesus, you’re not gonna be able to shut up about them, are you?” Mikey walked around to take Frank’s arm so they could get inside the house. “I know you wanna have fun, but like, try not to get too blasted too quickly. Promise?”

Frank waved a hand lazily at him. “I got it under control, Mikeyway.”

Or, at least he did during the first few hours. Frank stayed mainly in the living room where most people were dancing, letting everyone know that it was his birthday. Not that he knew any of these people, this was a party that Mikey’s friend of a friend invited them to, and Mikey was never one to turn down parties. Especially on Halloween.

One of the most fun things about birthdays, Frank found, was that people were more than willing to do shots with him. They’d even approach him and ask, and who was he to turn them down? By the time he was on his fifth shot of Fireball, he felt something hard roll around on his tongue, and spit it out into his hand that wasn’t holding an empty glass. “Aw, shit. My fang.”

“Bummer,” said someone right next to him. Frank turned to see a skinny guy with a floppy black mohawk hanging over his face, covering blood and smeared stage paint in a contoured skull style. A sleeveless Morbid shirt hung around his frame loosely. A tattoo of either a devil or a gargoyle took up his left forearm. “Nice Demonias, by the way.” When he smiled, Frank noticed a nice set of fangs.

“Uh, thanks. Hey-- got any-- fuck, what’s it called?” Frank asked, snapping his fingers as he scoured his mind. “Fucking, um. Fuck. Y’know what I’m talking about? Sticky tooth stuff.”

“Adhesive?” he guessed. Close enough. “Nah, sorry. The one-tooth look’s kinda cute, though.” The stranger gestured vaguely in the direction of his mouth. “Gives you more character.”

Frank’s lips twisted. “Maybe. I still like both, though.” He stared down again forlornly at the fallen fang.

“Hey, doesn’t really matter in the long run anyway. Half the people here already probably got their costumes disheveled anyway. You still fit right in.”

Frank couldn’t help but look around at everyone else, though focusing was pretty hard at this point. “Whatever.” He just stuck the tooth in his pocket. “M’Frank. Is my birthday.”

The stranger’s eyes widened. “Sick! Best day to be born, lucky you. I’m Mary.” He held his hand out.

“ _ Mary _ , huh? Bold. Did you choose that name?” Frank shook his hand, then flinched. “Holy shit, dude, you okay? Freezing.”

Mary stretched his fingers out when he let go. “Huh? Oh, uh...yeah. Cold outside. And yeah. I did.” He slid his hand into his back pocket.

“I like it.” Frank set the shot glass down on the counter and stared him unabashedly up and down. For what it was worth in Frank’s drunken mind, he was pretty hot. “Wanna take a birthday shot?”

Mary then eyed him up and down, red irises becoming more prominent. They seemed extra reflective in the fluorescent lights. “You think you can even take any more shots, doll? Gotta hold onto the counter to keep yourself upright.”

“But it’s my birthday! S’like, illegal not to do a shot with me.” Frank shifted closer and picked the glass up again to place in his hand. “What’s your poison?”

“Sweetheart, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Mary set the glass down again.

Frank grabbed his wrist. “You patronizing me, dollar store Danzig?”

Mary was quiet for a moment, then sucked air through his teeth. “Okay, twerp. You take my shot for me.” He poured Frank two shots of the closest bottle in reach, something pink and fruity called Sweet Bitch.

Frank shrugged. “Coulda just said you don’t drink, Mary. I don’t judge.” After both shots were knocked back, Frank grunted and craned his neck back.

Mary got a full gaze of Frank’s throat and the scorpion tattoo on the side. The stinger looked like it was pulsing, thanks to the artery beneath, and he bit his tongue. “Hey, Frank...”

Frank hummed, then raised a brow when he noticed Mary staring. “Oh. Hey, Mare.”

“Wanna sit down?” Mary’s hand snaked up Frank’s chest and gripped his collar. “Don’t want you trippin’ in those big stompers. I broke an ankle once that way.”

Frank’s tongue swiped across his lower lip. Mary could feel the heat radiating off his face, and had to fight from getting closer. “Yeah. Uh, I came here with a friend. Shhhhould pro’lly find him, right?”

“You got your phone? Can you text him?” Mary asked as he started moving Frank into the bathroom, making sure Frank didn’t stumble too bad.

Frank clutched to Mary. “Yeah, yeah. I got it.” When they moved into the bathroom, he shivered harshly with the coldness of the porcelain sink and Mary’s body.

Mary left the door cracked, but made sure it was closed most of the way. “Okay, birthday boy. Just take it easy.”

Frank grumbled something incoherently, then turned to look at himself in the mirror. He blinked, then jumped and nearly tripped backward if Mary weren’t there to catch him. He was the only one in the reflection. “Fuck--”

“Easy, doll. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Mary nudged Frank forward again, pressing his hips against the sink counter.

Frank’s hands spread out against the counter’s edges, and he yelped when something sharp pressed against his tailbone. “OW! You literally just said you wouldn’t hurt me, the fuck gives?! What-- how did you--”

“Oh, oops.” Mary shifted his own hips, keeping the three-inch spikes on his belt from pressing into Frank again. “I really didn’t mean that, heh. Now just hold still.”

“Wha--  _ agh! _ ” Frank hissed as his head was jerked back, a good chunk of his hair tight in Mary’s fist. “Wait. Waitwaitwait, please.” He kept staring at his own frightened reflection.

“S’not gonna hurt. Your scorpion’s just drivin’ me wild.” Mary’s cold fingers brushed over the tattoo.

There was a sting below his jaw, but it wasn’t as bad as Frank feared. His hands flew up to grab at Mary’s neck, squeezing, and his heart hammered with uncertainty. “Mngh, shit.” His neck grew slowly but steadily more red in the mirror, and he couldn’t shake how fucking  _ weird _ it was to see himself grab onto  _ nothing _ . Was this hot? It was definitely fucking nuts, but...nah, Frank decided this could be hotter in other circumstances. He was just drunk and probably losing blood from his brain. “Mary?”

“You’ve got a pretty pulse,” Mary purred. His grip on Frank’s hair loosened so he could massage the back of his scalp a bit. “S’okay. Your artery’s just fine, I’m not gonna kill ya, birthday boy.”

Frank’s nails dug into Mary’s cold skin for a few more seconds before his body relaxed more. His chest rose and fell heavily and his mouth hung open. “Mary. Mary, m’kinda dizzy.”

Mary pulled the shower curtain out of the way and picked Frank up by the hips so he could lay him down in the bathtub. “There y’go.” He got in as well, settling himself between Frank’s thighs. One leg ended bent and pressing against a wall, and the other just draped over the side. “Comfy?”

Frank pressed his hand to his neck, then held it in front of his face. “How bad am I bleedin’?”

Mary leaned forward and licked Frank’s palm. “It should stop in a little while. Just try to relax.”

Frank’s brow creased. “Mary?” His breath trembled. “Are you gonna...uh...”

“No worries, Frank. I’mma make sure your friend finds you.” He pat Frank’s hot cheek before backing away, then stared down at Frank and hummed. “What’s your friend’s name?”

“Mikey,” Frank slurred.   
  
“Cool. I’m gonna take your cape off, just try not to move much.” With as much maneuvering he could do with a drunk person, he pulled Frank’s cape out from under him, folded it up, and fashioned it under Frank’s neck and head for a pillow. Then he got out of the bathtub. “Um, hey, could I ask one more favor?”

Frank just blinked at him in a daze.

“Whatever, just keep still another second.” Mary pressed his fingers to Frank’s neck one more time to wet his fingers with blood, and touched up his face messily before opening the door fully again. “Happy birthday, doll.”

Frank wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but Mikey was suddenly right above him, and he sighed in relief. “Fuuuuuuck, Mikey. You’re never gonna fucking guess what happened.”

“The fuck gives, Frankie?! Some rando comes up to me and tells me you’re bleeding in the bathtub, I told you not to go overboard tonight.” Mikey pressed a clean rag to Frank’s neck.

“Dude, Mikeyway. I got fucking  _ bit _ . Like...by a real vampire.” Frank was grinning until the corners of his mouth ached. “It was so weird.”

“Uh huh. Okay, it doesn’t look too bad. Hold on.” Mikey rummaged through the cabinets until he found a box of bandages, and pulled out the biggest size. “Hold still.”

“Stupid ass Misfits ripoff motherfucker...” Frank turned his head to help Mikey, and curled up once the bandage was on properly. “Whatever. He didn’t fuck up my scorpion, did he?”

Mikey clicked his tongue. “It’s fine. How you feeling?”

“Cold.” Frank rolled onto his side and hugged himself tightly.

Mikey inhaled deeply. “Okay. Let’s crash at my place.” As he pulled Frank back onto his feet and pulled his cape back around his shoulders, he raised a brow. “Where’s your other-- you know what, not worth it. C’mon.”

Frank ran his tongue over the remaining fang and smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> oh, hey! thanks for reading! uhhhhh i'm still on my ghost/repugnant-mcr-crossover bullshit and i have no idea when this hyperfixation will let me go, but i appreciate you dropping by! also i amused myself way too much at the concept of someone calling mary "dollar-store danzig" so that's really where this ficlet sprouted from. 
> 
> happy halloween! 🎃🦇


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